What are we looking for on the web when we start virtual novels? How ideal is a partner "on the other side of the monitor"?
The feeling of loneliness, isolation from people, probably, is experienced by every second inhabitant of the planet. This is clearly felt where scientific and technological progress is high, and household comfort is considered satisfactory and higher. Many people cherish the dream of a "soul mate", of mutual love - especially if in reality everything is not so. It is human nature to seek "ideal relationships". The search for psychological harmony is happening everywhere: in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, at resorts during rest … A particularly intense search for "ideal partners" occurs on the Internet - among seemingly impersonal nicknames on forums, in various social networks and online computer games.
The world of social networks and online role-playing games is a space with a huge population. A virtual character is one of the facets of a person's self-realization. Coming up with a character, a person tries to realize certain character traits or "portray" signs of social significance, which he often does not have in reality, or - for some reason, they are difficult to show. On the other hand, the virtual society is as interesting as the real one. And, although the expression "communication of souls" bears the connotation of a well-known pathos, one must admit: virtual communication is, first of all, verbal contact, and since speech reflects the inner culture and intellectual and mental makeup of a person, this is communication of souls. If a person is looking for an interlocutor in a huge social space with whom he will be comfortable and good, this is a search for a kindred spirit.
Often, virtual friendship and love grows so much that the attraction becomes very strong. Virtual communication, virtual love and even virtual sex are good up to a certain point, after which there comes a real longing for the one with whom you have to communicate through computer technology. And then a problem arises: decide on a real meeting or leave everything as it is. And then, as they say, not even fifty-fifty. Only ten percent of these meetings end with a happy ending. This is especially true of love.
The tale of an ideal relationship collapses before our eyes if people are not ready to accept each other not in an imaginary world, but in a real one, where there is everyday life, everyday life, where touching a partner is real, and where you have to make a lot of new discoveries for yourself in a person who seem to know very well as a virtual partner. And these discoveries are not always pleasant. Typing on the keyboard is one thing, but becoming a person who does not irritate, attracts with "flesh and blood" is another.
Reality without embellishment will reveal a lot of flaws in a loved one. For example, your chosen one or chosen one is infantile, unable to maintain the relationships to which you are accustomed to on the Web, cannot take responsibility for relationships, take on the burden of problems that every person has. In other words, to accept a partner the way nature created him, with visual and psychological flaws, character flaws, and social disorder.
And your counterpart may also be an alcoholic. And if male alcoholism can be somehow cured “on the crest of love”, then female alcoholism is almost impossible to cure. Miracles do happen, but very rarely.
On the other side of your computer screen, there may be a wonderful person with a unique inner world and great talents, gentle and loving, but with wasted inner strength. Or, for example, he is terminally ill - it also happens. He will not be able to give you more than you get virtually. For example, he will not be able to provide for you, take care of you the way it dreamed of in the ghostly world of the Net. And also, those who devote the lion's share of their time to communication on the Internet most often suffer from laziness, selfishness, and an absolute inability to build relationships where words are powerless and real action is needed. Finally, your chosen one may turn out to be married (married) or, even worse, he is of the same sex with you, and the psychological need to virtually seem to be a being of the opposite sex is such a "weirdness". In the ethereal world of virtual relationships, this, alas, is very common, no matter how shocked you are by this information. The ideal lover can be a woman, and the ideal lover is a man who knows all the physiological nuances …
Going to a close virtual relationship with a person you really like, think about whether you have the strength to stop in time and not do stupid things in real life. After all, it is much more complicated than a virtual idyll. Sometimes the attraction to the "ideal partner" so overwhelms the psyche that it becomes a real obsession. And then disasters in family life are inevitable, if in reality you have a family. Comparison will inevitably do destructive work within you, and your real partner will seem unnecessary, not as good as you would like. Virtual relationships will literally "eat up" the remnants of the former affection, nullify the years of life together.
Many "virtual lovers" decide on a real date. Can you build new relationships? And most importantly, is your virtual partner ready for such changes? The reality is sometimes disappointing. He may not suit you outwardly (however, as you are). You may not like, for example, bad breath, the deadly habit of throwing things and dirty socks around you … But you never know the shortcomings that in virtual communication are simply "not read" in the texts that we diligently generate on the Internet?
Having decided to change your life, think carefully and ask yourself a very uncomfortable question: why is your "ideal chosen one" sitting on the Web, looking for love not in the real dimension, but in the virtual one? And give yourself an honest answer: are you not substituting love for a real person - an imaginary, invented by you love for a virtual character, albeit unique, but having a very distant resemblance to a real person?